^ Tuo nimi kyllä houkuttaa vääntämään. Itse olen kuullut että se on yksinkertaisesti nissan joke.
Ameriikan maalta lakimiesten möläyksiä:
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it
affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect
your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a
different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS : He was about medium height and had
a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town
I'm going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this
morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I
sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your
autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up
too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral,
OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the
time ?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a
urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that
question?
_____________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed
the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood
pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that
he patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on
my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient
have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he
could have been alive and practicing law.
